I'll show you what I can be
by violintides
Summary: Sailor Moon can't be everywhere at once. Stress is getting to our heroine. What if the people of Tokyo held a grudge against Sailor Moon for not saving every single person? This is her story. [Please R&R! I'm terrible at summaries.]
1. Prologue

Story Title: "I'll show you what I can be"

"Prologue"

My name is Usagi Tsukino. I just turned 18 years old and I'm engaged to Mamoru Chiba. He is my hero, and I am his heroine. He is Tuxedo Mask and I am Sailor Moon. Together with my friends, who are also senshi, we save lives everyday. From a cat in a tree, to a little girl being possessed by a youma. Every day is a new adventure and every day he helps me fight, he makes me fall in love with him all over again. I am a bit of a klutz, a cry baby, and even a whiner. Most of the time though, I can suck it up and get the job done, especially if my friends are in danger.

However, there's the stress, and there's a lot of it. I'm trying to balance my senior year of high school, my Sailor Moon adventures, planning a wedding, and stressing about the upcoming era of Crystal Tokyo all at the same time. As if that's not enough, my parents are giving me a bunch of drama about moving in with Mamo-chan. So, that's where you've found me. My story begins here.

Let's hope someone can learn from the mistakes I've made after reading my story.

Love,

Usako


	2. Chapter 1

Story Title: "I'll show you what I can be"

---Chapter 1---

_Which color dress do you want? What about the bridesmaid dresses? Will Hotaru be your flower girl? Should she wear the same kind of dress as the bridesmaids? Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding?_

_Have you trained recently? Have you been sparring with Makoto like I asked you to? Have you learned that new attack I tried to teach you? Have you been working with Ami with how to detect an enemy's weakness without having her do it for you all the time?_

_Have you cleaned up your room like I asked? Have you checked out that scholarship program? Have you eaten all of your breakfast? Have you finished that college application? We don't want you moving in with Mamoru till you're married, honey._

Usagi's mind was whirling. It's like she could never get any peace and quiet. If her friends weren't nagging her on the specifics of her upcoming wedding, then Luna was nagging her on training her powers further. If her mother wasn't nagging her about something, then her mind was too busy studying for her semester exams for high school.

Usagi's life had become one big stressful mess. If it wasn't this, it was that. If this person didn't need saving, she was studying mathematics. If this person didn't ask her to clean her room, she was using her scepter to learn her newest attack. She was so stressed, she couldn't handle it. She was only 18, she just wanted a normal life!

So, she made a decision that she would stop. **No more Sailor Moon.**

Usagi would ignore the nagging senshi power telling her to henshin and go save this person or that person. The other senshi can surely handle it. She needed to concentrate on HER life. There's no reason to save everyone else and let her life go down the drain.

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Usagi was sitting on her bed, filling out yet another scholarship application. Her mother knocked on the door while she opened it. Usagi hated it when her mother did that, it made her feel like she can't even have a chance to say 'Come in' or not.

Ikuko smiled at her daughter, "Usagi, have you finished your homework? I know you have those semester exams coming up..."

Usagi sighed, "Of course I did. I know I'm not Ami-chan, but I am capable of finishing my homework, Okaa-san." _A/N: Okaa-san means 'mother' in Japanese, I figure if I'll be using the Japanese names, better keep up with it!_

Ikuko frowned at her daughter's snippy remark. She'd been acting rather moody lately. Perhaps it was just the stress of college and a fiancee getting to her. "Alright, Usagi. Keep up the good work."

Usagi sighed and nodded, turning back to her application. She felt a tugging on her body, like someone was grabbing an odango and pulling on it. Her mind raced and her body told her to henshin.

It took every ounce of strength to keep herself sitting there. "No... I have a life to lead, the others can handle everything just fine without me..."

After finishing the scholarship application and putting it into the mailbox, Usagi found herself exhausted. She had planned on watching some Sailor V cartoons, but she was just far too tired to do anything more than change into her pajamas and go to bed.


	3. Chapter 2

Story Title: "I'll show you what I can be"

---Chapter 2---

Usagi yawned as she woke up in the morning. She stretched and walked down the stairs. It was Saturday, so her mother should be cooking a big breakfast; but there was no smell hanging in the air of bacon or eggs. Usagi found her father, mother, and brother all huddled around the TV.

"Otou-san, Okaa-san, what happened?"

The three of them turned towards Usagi. It was then that she noticed the tears in their eyes. What could be so horrible that her father would cry? He was a pillar of strength and dedication to his family; but here he was, showing his weakness with tears in his eyes.

Ikuko tried to start to explain, "Usagi, don't flip out too badly."

Kenji sighed and stood up, walking over to his only daughter and wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulders. Usagi had tears in her eyes. Seeing her father cry was enough to make her want to cry. _He is never like this. It must be horrible._

Kenji smiled sadly, "You know your best friend, Naru?"

Usagi blinked back her tears, her mind screamed _'I told you so!' _Her body felt weak, she barely made it to the couch before sitting, "What... happened... Otou-san..."

Kenji sighed and kissed his daughter on the forehead, "She's missing... there was a lot of blood in the jewelry shop her mom owns. It was definitely Naru's blood. There's enough evidence that they believe she might be..."

Usagi screamed, "NO! She's not dead, so don't say it!!" Usagi dashed off into her room. She had to see for herself. She grabbed the first outfit she could find: a light blue sundress with a denim jacket to cover her arms. She pulled on some socks and left her room, locking her door behind her. She ran off downstairs, threw on her shoes, and was out the door before anyone could say anything to her. She didn't want them to see her this upset.

_'I could have saved her... I neglected my responsibilities...'_ Usagi was crying as she walked, lost in her thoughts. She didn't know where she was going, but she let her feet carry her away from her home. _'Just take me anywhere but home,'_ she thought.

"I just want to lead a normal life. I don't want these problems. I don't want someone's life in my hands. I don't want all of this responsibility." She was talking to herself again. Usagi wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to not look like a wreck to anyone who passed by.

Usagi looked up and found herself infront of the apartment complex where Mamoru lived. "Mamo-chan" Usagi whispered to herself. She'd gone to his place without even meaning to. Was that fate or just a coincidence? She didn't care, she needed him.

Usagi pushed the 'up' button on the elevator and adjusted her hair and outfit. She tried to make herself look reasonably presentable, she didn't want Mamoru to know she felt lower than dirt.

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**A/N: So what do you guys think so far? I'm not sure if I'll continue this story. Gimme some feedback and we'll see. :) or review here!**


	4. Chapter 3

"I'll show you what I can be"

----Chapter 3----

She smiled as she greeted Mamoru. However, he did not smile back.

"Where were you Usagi?"

His tone sounded harsh, rude, and unforgiving. He did not even call her by his normal pet name, 'Usako'. She was scared. It felt like it did the last time he called her Usagi instead of Usako. At the time, he had broken up with her in order to save her. Now, however, it sounded like he was genuinely mad.

"I had work to do. You know how I'm trying to get into college. I've been losing a lot of sleep. I'm sorry I didn't come, but I figured you and the others could..."

Usagi stopped mid-sentence. Were his eyes really watering? What in the world?

"Usagi. Naru's gone missing. I was there, I saw what happened. The youma, regardless of having all the scouts there and myself, was unable to be defeated. Without the ginzuishou or your scepter, it was able to run rampant. It took her hostage after it beat her within an edge of her life. We couldn't stop it."

Usagi's eyes, which had previously been holding back tears, now let them fall freely.

"It's all my fault..."

Mamoru did not interject to tell her it wasn't her fault. Usagi noticed this. _So they agree, they think it is my fault. Just because I didn't henshin, just because I wanted to live my life..._

"Usako..."

Mamoru spoke softer now as he seemed to realize the chord it had struck in Usagi to not be called by his pet name for her. The fact that her best friend's bloody body was kidnapped did not help matters either. She didn't need punishing right now, she needed a shoulder to cry on. She felt his arms wrap around her small body and her forehead fell to rest upon his shoulder. She let herself go.

"I'm sorry, I've just been so busy and stressed and..."

She was mumbling now. Even she couldn't understand what she was saying anymore. Everything just seemed to be like one big blur. Her friends probably hated her for not showing up, Naru might be dead or dying somewhere, and some new enemy has appeared somehow and no one knows where Naru might be. Almost as if reading her mind, Mamoru tried to comfort her.

"I'm sure we'll find her. We don't have any leads as to this enemy who would want to capture Naru instead of simply kill her for her... whatever they are trying to collect now. Energy, heart crystals, star seeds... I don't know."

His tone made her smile a bit. It was always comforting just to hear his deep, soothing voice speaking to her in a soft, loving way.

"It looks like we have a lot of work to do."

"I thought you were giving up Sailor Moon, though?" Mamoru inquired.

"I am. However, with the presence of a new enemy, I have to at least try to help research this new enemy. Even if it doesn't include henshining."

Usagi tried to give him an encouraging smile. Though he did return the smile, in the back of his mind he thought, _We're doomed without the silver crystal or Sailor Moon's power..._

**A/N: Please read and review. Comments/Flames/Suggestions/etc are all welcome. violintides at hotmail dot com.**


	5. Chapter 4

"I'll show you what I can be"

----Chapter 4----

The top of her pencil sat in her mouth; she was idly chewing on the silver part that held the eraser to the pencil. Cerulean eyes scanned over the pages of a book infront of her. The silence around her was deafening, she hated quiet. The quiet actually made it _harder_ for her to concentrate rather than if it were noisier; perhaps just a habit after being in school for so long. She set her right hand down onto the table and strummed her fingernails against it. The soft tapping noise was soothing and helped her get through the book.

She was reading a book on the history of the Mayan civilization, studying for one of her many extracurricular courses which gave her half a credit per class for college. Usagi always figured Crystal Tokyo would dawn before she ever had to go to college, but she figured she might as well prepare for the worst: more school.

Regardless of her mind trying to focus on ceremonial centers built by the Mayans, her heart couldn't help but interfere in her work. Naru being missing had thrust even more work upon her that she did not want responsibility for. However, she was helping the senshi out due to being Naru's friend, not Sailor Moon.

Suddenly, a woman walked up behind Usagi and laid her hand ontop of Usagi's hand; the strumming, needless to say, ended there.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Usagi asked, rather upset that someone would be so forward as to not only interrupt her studies, but pull her from her thoughts.

"The noise you were making with your hand was attracting the attention of not only me, but also other patrons." The woman spoke with a harsh dialect. Her Japanese was rusty and it showed. She appeared to be very American infact. Her eyes were bright blue, seeming to be the same color as the sky. Her hair was very curly, a fiery red color, and reached down to her mid-back. Her skin was very pale and sprinkles of freckles could be seen almost everywhere. She was tall, slender, and carried herself gracefully. After removing her hand from Usagi's, content that the blonde would stop her obnoxious noise, she moved to sit next to Usagi.

"What is it you are reading there?" The woman asked.

Usagi closed the book, showing off the cover of what it was: _The Rise and Fall of Maya Civilization _by John Eric Sidney Thompson.

The woman nodded in acknowledgement. Usagi sighed; She didn't know who this woman was and she certainly didn't have time to be sitting in the middle of the library idly chatting it up with whoever thought her fingers tapping the table was annoying.

"I'm sorry but what did you say your name was?" Usagi inquired.

The woman raised an eyebrow, her hand reaching up and brushing a few crimson locks behind her shoulder, "I didn't say what my name was; but if that is your way of asking, my name is Tori."

Usagi nodded a bit, lingering on the thought of the meaning behind her name, "Bird". However, it occured to Usagi that this woman was American, yet she had a name that could easily be Japanese. Our blonde heroine was pulled out of her thoughts by the woman's question.

"What is your name? Odango Atama?"

The younger girl fumed. Only one person ever got away with calling her that. She gathered up her books, slamming them closed rather loudly. After stacking them one ontop of another, she stood up and grumbled to the other woman named Tori. As she walked away, she flicked her hand back to push her free-flowing hair behind her shoulder. A sort of, 'Hmph' noised was heard as she walked away. Usagi could only think, _The nerve of that woman! How dare she be so rude and forward._

After passing a few patrons who gave her dirty looks, she sighed and slumped a bit. She had acted rather childishly, but she didn't want to waste time with that woman. She placed the books back on a cart for the librarian to put away later. Once she opened the door and felt the cool breeze running through her hair and the warm sun on her face, she felt much better. She hated being cooped up inside.

As she walked down the street, she noticed there weren't that many people running around. It looked, infact, like Tokyo was deserted! _Where is everyone?_ Usagi thought as she rounded a corner. There she saw it: about 30 people all huddled around a TV shop. Apparently something earth-shattering was going on, otherwise they would've just gone home to watch the news or whatever.

As Usagi pushed her way through the crowd so she could see the TVs, she realized all her friends were on there along with her soon-to-be husband. Tuxedo Mask, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Mercury, and Sailor Venus all stood up on stage. Apparently some sort of conference had been called to speak with the senshi about the missing teenage girl, Naru, and what happened that day.

Usagi heard the crowd yelling at them. Why hadn't they saved her? Was the girl dead? If she was alive, where had she gone? Where is Sailor Moon?

The last question Usagi heard repeated over and over again. She noticed how a few of them winced with every question. Sailor Jupiter stood strong, proud, and unemotional. As one of the spokesmen for the city walked up to the stage, he announced that the city demanded to know where Sailor Moon was and why she didn't help Naru that day.

Tuxedo Mask interjected, "Sailor Moon has saved us all time and again. She is a very busy woman as I'm sure you can imagine. As it is, keeping us here instead of letting us do our jobs could be getting someone else hurt at this very moment. None of us will ever reveal the true identity of a fellow senshi; it's just not fair to try and take away the normal lives we try to lead outside of crime fighting."

The crowd erupted, "Where is Sailor Moon! She's too busy to save someone now? Isn't there a way to get a new Sailor Moon? Get someone new!" This was repeated, 'Get someone new!', people were shouting over and over again.

Sailor Mars stepped forward to the podium, "Do not blame Sailor Moon for our problems. What did Tokyo ever do without her before? You have police, firefighters, all sorts of men and women who put their lives on the line everyday to take care of these problems. How can you blame one woman for wanting to live her life a little?"

The crowd erupted in anger again, "She SHOULD have been there!" "It's her JOB to take care of us!"

Sailor Mercury stepped forward with a sigh, "...You're all wrong... It's not her **job** to take care of you; She is a woman with a real job, a real life, a very real family. Are those things not important as well? I don't see how you can all call blame just because she wants to take care of those things. She isn't paid to do this, you know; she was just trying to make a difference. Just because she isn't on it 100, doesn't mean she cares any less. It means she hasn't the time to care 120."

Usagi was hurt by all the words being said by the crowds and her senshi friends. They were trying to defend her, but kind of failed and made her feel unnecessary and unwanted; like everything she'd ever done was in vain.

No one noticed or cared about the little blonde haired girl with two buns atop her head who slunk away from the TV shop.

**A/N: Please read and review. Comments/Flames/Suggestions/etc are all welcome. violintides at hotmail dot com.**


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